05
Sep 16

Tales from the Brewery: Everyone’s Ale

It’d been two-ish years since I brewed a batch of beer. Saturday afternoon I finally sucked up the will to deal with the tedium that follows when one homebrews (e.g. cleaning, sanitizing, trying-not-to-multitask-cuz-you’ll-fuck-it-up-ing). The rewards have, in the past, been substantial: gratification through the act of creation, artistically satisfying, and socially uplifting.

I dusted off (literally) my numerous pieces of brewing gear and began the process with recipe and ingredients procured from the local Lafayette Homebrew shoppe.
recipe_underway

With the boil underway and molecular excitement reaching peaks, the smell of my homebrew is positively intoxicating.
boiling_wort

With the hops added and frustrating boil-over largely abated (I reviewed the preceding link after the fact), I spent the next 45 minutes of the 60 minute boil preparing for the post-boil events. Namely, after you finish the boil, you’ve got to cool it down. Lo & behold my trusty wort chiller was no longer, so I had to do it the old fashion way (that is super low-tech).
holey_chiller

Sorta longer story short, this batch marked one of the most disappointing weekend projects as of late. A catastrophe suitable enough to inspire even the laziest of writers to blog.

As I turned the corner, well ahead of my four minute go-fuckin’-check-on-it timer mind you, I experienced a moment of realization that I am not the Flash nor Superman. All I could do was watch, the beginnings of an eventual long, dreadfully sorrowful “no” forming on my lips.
dead_soldier

If only the irony derived from this beer’s name and fate were as delicious as the beer would have been.